SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
