My boss' voice literally gives me gas
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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