So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
