How'd it feel making her break her religion?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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