i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize