i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
