just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
