Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My balls are so social today.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
