Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
