this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
