My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
