last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
