new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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