Heybabeimwearingurpanties
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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