Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
