If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So here I am, sexting at work.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
