Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
