i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
