it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
