We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What drink are we having for lunch?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
