You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So vagazzling was a success
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
