Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
