I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
