I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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