i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
