Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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