Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
