i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish I could punch you in the face.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
