My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
