Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Your penis caused this!
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