You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
