apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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