I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
