Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
