im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
