We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
