U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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