I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
