It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
