It's like God shit irony all over that family
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
