i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
