That's when you crack a 10am beer
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I want her autograph on my taint
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
