i jhust puked up my retainher.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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