he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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