Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
