either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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