I wannas sexs uuuuu
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
