We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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