i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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