My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
