I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i believe in u and ur pee
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
