WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
