You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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